Written For: Knoji
Okay.
So you met this really wonderful guy. He’d call you at unexpected moments just
to ask how you are, or send you flowers every other day. Conversation is
free-flowing and he makes you laugh. You talk about him to anybody who’d care
enough to listen. Needless to say, you are so into him. But the million dollar
question remains: Is he that into you too?
At the very start of the relationship, at the
time when they are getting close to a woman, men
love to think. They go through a period when they aren’t sure what they feel
towards you. They ask themselves: “Do I really like this girl?”; “Am I that
into her?”.
During this crucial moment of reflection, men
withdraw and they retreat to their “caves” to do some serious thinking. He will
become so focused on the task at hand that he temporarily loses awareness of
everything else. Anything and everything, including you, may fade into the
background. He may become distant, unresponsive and forgetful.
A woman’s instant reaction is panic. We stay
awake at night trying to figure out what we did wrong. We mistakenly assume
that he doesn’t care about us anymore. So we go out of our way to win him back
by going the extra mile. We call him when he doesn’t call. We send him emails
saying we want to talk about the relationship. We try too hard to get things
back to normal.
Here’s the catch: while you try too hard to pull him back, you are in fact pushing him away. He starts thinking of you as a stalker.
So what to do? Give him time. Let him be. Let
him withdraw. And if he doesn’t come back, it’s time to find the answer to that
million dollar question: Is he that into you?
Women
are blessed with intuition. We have our instincts as a gift. We know when a guy
is just not into us. The problem lies in acceptance. We vehemently refuse to
believe it. We take comfort in denial. We would rather believe that he is not
ready to commit, he has issues, or he is just really busy. But the thing is,
when he is not into you, he just isn’t. And no amount of willing, wishing or
nagging will ever be enough to make him stay if he wants out.
It won’t be easy. But it all goes down to
self-respect. Ask yourself why you would want to be with someone who said he’d
call and then didn’t. Ask yourself why you would want to be with someone who
disappears on you. Then go ask yourself why is it okay with you.
We all deserve somebody better. If he makes
you feel bad, that’s bad.